Only you can help prevent cancer

Two things to mention today:

I was out and about earlier, driving into a large, busy parking lot, when what did I see? Two old people in an SUV driving across the parking lot. Now, in an empty parking lot with minimal traffic, no problem. But on a Saturday afternoon? I sped up so that I could be close to them when they passed me. They weren't looking, of course, and as they sailed by I layed on the horn. Maybe that was dumb, or futile, but I really hope it pissed them off. Stupid old people.

After the parking lot, I got to thinking about brain tumors. Every time I hear about someone with a brain tumor, they are always the star athelete, or the valedictorian, or a doctor, or just someone who was SO GOOD at everything they did... you get the idea. Well, I have a theory about this. One of two things is possible:

1. Dumb or poor people that get brain tumors don't get noticed. "Oh, you have a brain tumor? Serves you right, you fucking moron. Why don't you get a job, and maybe you could afford to get that fixed."

2. Brain tumors make people smarter.

My guess is option 2. I mean, come on, something is different about the brain of a smart person anyhow, we know that. Maybe the brain tumor affects the brain in more ways than we thought - maybe the tumor causes their brains to accelerate in growth and productivity, making the person smarter. But the brain can't function at that level for long, and sooner or later, it gives up and the person dies. It all makes perfect sense.

Of course there are smart people out there without brain tumors too, but watch out - maybe the reverse is true as well, and being super smart might cause a brain tumor to form. I think the real lesson here is that being really smart is bad for you. Just be mildly smart, or somewhat witty, and you'll be fine. For now.